*sigh*

I talked with a close friend tonight. She is down to earth and I really appreciate her advice.

We talked about the problems at my job. She also (as any friend I’ve told) thinks it is absolutely wrong to have us start working before signing contracts. Everyone has reacted with a “whatchu talkin bout Willis” sort of surprised expression. It’s obvious it is wrong- to everyone but admin who deems it necessary.

So where am I now?

Trying to find any means by which to convince myself I can hack it for another semester. Maybe if I give up the lost notion of teacher support and keep a low profile. Maybe. I hate to see the process of justification going on in my head. But I can’t return if I don’t find some way to deal with it. I have the same problem many teachers do- caring. It really wears you out.

Note to self: Figure this out before I am too old to exercise other options.

Note to others: I’m really not into publishing my thoughts. I do this because I think that someone may benefit from reading about a similar situation to theirs. I know I do-I’ve been feeling better after reading about ESL teachers in similar positions. (Most of) my colleagues help to keep me sane by being supportive and being great to work with. So it is the finding of like minds that sometimes help when the culture, the economy, and politics are making things more difficult than they need be.

(I have been engaging in a series of classes discussing the issue of writing in SLA…)

Ok, so now the workshop is over and the semester is over. tg.

I did learn something. But strangely enough, most of what I learn of implementing the most recent theories for SLA seem quite obvious to me. The learner is important. Students need to feel comfortable in the classroom to be motivated and take risks. Give them free space to practice English in authentic contexts. Don’t provide feedback for ALL of their errors. So the workshop provided some specific examples and contexts to implement these ideas in the classroom.

When I was taking SLA in grad school, I found the whole theorist phenomenon to be a bit well, human. There is one theory established, someone sees a weakness and swings to the opposite, then someone else sees the division and goes for a middle ground. And in the end everyone has their self-selected bandwagon; some of these become relentless trends in ESL/SLA for a while. For example, this current admin seems to think any skills-based approach, even for TOEFL, is to be avoided at all costs, but content/projects are heaven-sent. It’s generally a good direction for the EAP program, but they are throwing the baby out with the bathwater. And the teachers are feeling the effect.

Ok, so after filtering through the annoyances, yes, I think it is a good idea to get students to do a lot of writing, and yes, I think that overwhelming them with feedback will demotivate. That’s what I learned. Not a revelation by any means, but it’s something. And I received free professional development. (I can’t afford to take a class I have to pay for. And I have been too spent after teaching so many demanding classes on a strange schedule.)

Overall I enjoyed the workshop. But honestly, that is the most optimistic part of my brain saying that. I operated with as much of this optimism as I could throughout the semester, but the semester is over now.

All I want is to work in a people-centered atmosphere. I need some benefits. I need some job security. It shouldn’t be this problematic. The overall trend is ever-creeping toward professional devaluation of adjuncts.

*wonders what real vacations are like*

I have come back after a long absence and taken a good look at this blog. Some things I felt uncomfortable with because I was in such an early stage of understanding. I am not the sort of individual who wants to convince others with my conviction that I am right. But rather, I am an explorer. And sometimes I write things before my thoughts are fully formed, leaving me with that uneasy feeling that I’ve said something not quite reflecting what I had intended. I will be taking more care to consider my words from now on while remaining honest, and yes even if a bit unknowledgeable at times.

I will be adding to this blog more from this point. I will be continuing to add things I learn from my students from Saudi Arabia, and from other cultures. I also want to add any Spanish and Arabic language items I run into because these are the languages I am studying (Spanish advanced, Arabic toddler haha). In addition, I would like to keep this as a language diary for the fun linguistic anomalies I run into on a regular basis.

Here’s one for example: I had just learned the word for chicken in Arabic- “dujaj” (transliterated-sorry). The girls were talking in Arabic and I heard “dujaj” so I asked why in the world they were talking about chickens! They were talking quietly in English and had actually said “the judge” (as “de judge”). THAT was a funny cross-linguistic coincidence!

I haven’t written for a long time. I have probably forgotten the important details, but this is important to keep.

First, of all, I would like to talk about Eid. Students at my school have been kind over the past few years in organizing a party so that all of the students can learn about Ramadan. (They make the best friggin food!) Well, one year Ramadan was ending and some students told me about an Eid celebration at the park. I headed there during my lunch. I headed straight for the boys in the back. I was stopped. Politely, but nonetheless, I was upset. These are people I know and that hug me all the time. Fortunately, one friend saw me and came and embraced me. This was very important for me. He immediately took the sting out of the situation by acting normal with me. The other guy, a very sweet kid, suggested that some of the men would not feel comfortable with my presence. I thought “I’m in Saudi Arabia a few blocks from my home!” They suggested I could go sit with the girls. I took a deep breath and headed over. I didn’t know anyone! None of my female students were there. I was greeted warmly and sat down. The ladies were very nice. I had read the book “Girls of Riyadh” and in it it said that many people say “Allah, May peace be upon him” a lot. Sure enough, one woman repeated this every other sentence it seemed. Too much for me. But overall, I couldn’t be more grateful for such a deep experience, one that I don’t believe many “outsiders” have the opportunity to participate in, especially here.

The other story leads off from the last. I met a woman, in a complete black abaya. I am open to her doing so, but it is still so shocking that she would be so intense that she would wear the full abaya here. Well, she invited me to her mosque to listen to a speaker, Yousef (forget last name). Another Saudi friend of mine had shown me some of his talks on the internet. Although I am not religious at all, I still really enjoyed how he spoke. So it was a great opportunity. Sorry about my verbal gawking, but this time she wore the full abaya, including the face cover, and gloves. That seems really drastic to me. I couldn’t even see her eyes to make eye contact. She lifted her cover slightly to eat. Very different to me. Again, I remember to keep an open mind, but cannot deny the fact that this seemed way overboard for me to see in the United States. At any rate, I met a few of the girls that go to her mosque, listened to Yousef, and heard a bit about the Sami Al-Arian case (there’s some crazy shit for you). It was another good opportunity I might not have had if I hadn’t taken myself completely out of my element.

Last night I had many friends over and the poor saudis were in for quite a q&a. Sex this, women that. Whew, thank goodness they were patient. We learned a LOT!

There were some things confirmed. There are still some men, especially from conservative parts of the country, that think a woman is thought of as, quote, “a bitch” (translation:whore) if she wears something considered revealing or if she hangs out with men, or if she touches their arm or anything like that. I had heard one story from a friend that was being frank, and it was frightening to me. I feared that this was an open invitation to rape. Now I think it is not quite so bad. As anywhere, a negative person may make that leap. Any good person will know that it is wrong, even if there are still major cultural misunderstandings that they are still ignorant about. whew-that’s good news, on the fear end anyway.

Three of us American girls grilled one (very patient) saudi guy until 5 am. He still unfortunately does not understand that women are lacking freedoms that the men have the right to. He was explaining the respect men have for women, although it is, in my opinion, focusing on, and controlling the wrong factor involved. Women are “protected”. He thinks because women are not protected in the U.S. that it explains a higher incidence of rape. This is unverified theory that is passed around because I’ve heard it from others before. We ladies suggested that women may feel more empowered to report it here; after all, noone’s tribal “honor” is at stake here. We of course also tried to explain what freedoms women lacked and that protecting women was a noble gesture, however, it is the criminals perpetrating the behaviors and crimes that should be controlled, not the women.

Other saudi guys I talked to said that it was important in their religion and culture that both women AND men be virgins when they get married. They agreed that there is hypocrisy and double standards, such as men having the freedom to break those rules in the U.S. while women absolutely cannot, but that they didn’t feel they were that type. One guy said, “Honestly, a man will not marry a woman who is not a virgin, even if it is not right. She is considered a “bitch”.’ They want American girlfriends, but with the main idea of improving their English (lol that is the urban legend I keep hearing anyway). I am sure they are also keen on the idea of romance, but these guys at least did not seem to have ulterior motives in mind, and believe me, I asked the questions directly (respectfully, but also directly).

Which brings us to the topic of chivalry. I have been treated so well by so many of these guys. We all agree that they are indeed chivalrous, AND the American men need to learn from this. It almost always about sex here. Men generally have no respect for women, and often don’t even feign to do so. We walked away from the conversation feeling that we had said what we could about women lacking freedoms, but mainly we walked away feeling a little pissed about American men. I thought my standards were already too high; now I realize American men have just set the bar low.

We tried to explain that buying expensive things later obligates a women to relinquish her voice and choices, which happens in American culture too, although to a less extreme extent. My friends and I agreed that what American men need to learn is generosity, not just giving us things and expecting something in return, but more a generosity of spirit that shows he has a natural ability and desire to give and take. He needs to show generosity on a regular basis to us, to our friends, and family, to his friends and family. It has to be an ongoing action of his, rather than some demonstrative showcasing that implicates reciprocation of the “sumthin sumthin” sort. (disclaimer: to those American men, whom we have rarely met, that fortunately defy these unfortunate commonalities)

One student, who is so grounded and I admire for it, also had something important to add. We ask them questions they don’t have the language to answer. Then we mis-take their explanations. This is a vital thing for us, especially as second language teachers, to take into account.

I could never manage to type enough about what we all discussed last night and what we learned from it, but these are some of the main points that stuck in my mind.

And so what was my point? Oh yes, I- HATE- SAUERKRAUT!!!

omg… Press One for English

I’m offended. But he knew that when he sent it to me.

I HATE watching the news. But they sucked me in…somethin’ about people being able to ride employee buses and entirely bipassing security. The word “terrorists” was thrown in for shits and giggles I assume. (Is there any headline without that word anymore?!)

I half expected to see A’s goofy smile traipsing across the screen with the news caption blaring “TERRORISTS CAN INFILTRATE US AT ANY MOMENT! THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!! TERRORISTS, TERRORISTS EVERYWHERE…HERE’S ONE NOW!!” *A walks past the camera jamming to his ipod which is blasting a squall of melodious American top 40 tunes “I wanna f#@% you, f#@% you”…or my favorite (heaving) “mya-hee- mya-ha mya-ha mya-ha-ha” (projectile vomiting) * Thats a terrorist for ya! (Only terrorists would listen to that awful song!)

We all know how the blasted media/government throws around the word terrorism, like every time you turn around a Muslim will be strapped to the T, dreamily eyeballing the heavens. Why blow yerself up for the ‘dude up yonder’ when you can go to America and screw the girls there? And truth be told, especially by Muslim standards, there is a LOTTA free milk to be had here and many of the boys have no qualms about taking advantage.

That reminds me…recalling explaining to students the other day that “virgin” and “version” are pronounced differently…not so easy for Arabic speakers to udder correctly…rotfl…i am such a dork.

Anyway, let’s skip the political barrage of BS….here is my (un) superficial interjection: damn there are some real Saudi hotties…international eye candy is good.

I have so many (Saudi) students that show up late, if at all, miss tests, don’t turn in homework, avoid all opportunities for bonus point work, and then come to me with that charming demeanor expecting some magical outcome from the last-second negotiation to save their tails.

I see clearly there is a cultural element here. I can appreciate the charm. I can appreciate the laid-back approach. I can appreciate the (last minute) negotiation process. Nonetheless, it is truly truly brain-sucking.

But they’re almost all so damn sweet it takes tremendous will to turn them away.

Listen people, I’m just a teacher.

I have been accused of both. I am aware that there are very real political implications, but I can assure you that they are out of my hands. In fact, as the political climate changes, so does my job environment, if I even have enough students to keep the job.

Let’ see… no job security, check, endless workload, check, low salary, check, benefits short-lived and ending soon, check, high monthly school loan payments, check, rent and utilities skyrocketing, check, a woman with a graduate degree who could be out of work any day, check.

I leave the politics outside and deal with the individuals that come into my realm of experience.

I have never loved anything so much and I feel like I learn so much every single day. I feel so fortunate. And I plan to do this for a very long time…..(if admin’s workload doesn’t kill me first)

article: http://www.aotf.org/html/time.shtml

This article was circulating and I really liked it. It discusses how different cultures view time differently and, therefore, use it differently. We all know U.S. culture is GO GO GO GO GO NOOOOWWWWW! BE ON TIME OR ELSE! Saudi culture? Oh we’ll get around to that probably. That’s why I am so amused by that “Enshallah Airways” t-shirt in my previous blog. Arabic time puts Hispanic time to shame! One thing I love is how close friends and family are. The U.S. is all about independence; Saudi is all about interdependence- to an extent that would drive most Americans mad.

So friends and family ALWAYS come first. Work never takes precedence over family and friends. We really could learn a lot from this in the U.S. Life is MUCH more laid back in SA, which as you can imagine, is very frustrating for a teacher. Although I have done a lot of “experiments” trying to be culturally sensitive, there is just not enough American time to be sensitive enough. These people are going to have to get through American universities- and ‘no rest for the wicked,’ right? More about that later…

I see a lot of spontaneity and genuine brotherhood/ sisterhood. I have learned through pure experience over time that hanging out with the men is a great deal easier than hanging out with the women. At first this was upsetting for me.I love bein’ around the guys, but I have a couple of good female friends that I wish so much I could actually spend time with. I cannot explain this, although I have a beginner’s theory.

I believe that the women are used to establishing very close bonds to other women, but in a private sphere. Even here they have their brothers drive them to places, so their freedom, in my opinion, is restricted at the very least to that extent. The guys, on the other hand, come and go as they please. They have close bonds with a large number of other guys in a much more public sphere. It is all I can gather so far, and this theorizing has had a lot of practical support so far. But let me say that hangin’ with the guys is something I have done my whole life and I have so much fun hanging with these guys, especially my good friends.

Oh, and although nearly all the men I know are very cool and open-minded, I have heard a direct incident where some men may think a woman who hangs out with men, even though American women have no qualms or self-consciousness about this, is a whore, and is open game for any man to take (rape?) as he pleases. These are not the cultural differences that perplex us or cause conflict, but real genuine scary misunderstandings that could result in genuine trauma.

“Ok, where was I? Oh yes..” m-time and p-time. Americans are very strict about time and are m-timers, whereas Saudis (and Hispanics) are p-timers. Wooh-what a cwazy time when ya try to get them all to operate in the same environment, especially when you are in a multicultural atmosphere where you hope people try to be culturally aware of differences but you still hear someone say, “they HAVE to adjust!” (Ok, ok, we hear you dragon lady.) But the fact of life is that the adjustment will never, and perhaps theoretically should never, be complete. They have to adjust to American time, but anyone who honestly observes will learn real quick that one cannot leave the entire societal foundation they have lived inseparable from their entire life in the dust. Demand all you want; life will do its own thing with or without you approving its existence.

These t-shirts are funny hehe

Inshallah Airways

Habibi

got hummus?

Egyptian…

UAE

cologne

falafel

Things are not always as rosy in the Kingdom as is presented by its (male) residents, however well-meaning they are.  http://www.victorhanson.com/Middle_East_Chronicles.html

However, I have formed good friendships with Saudis. In fact, I learn as much as I can. Some things about their culture are good, and some make it very difficult to maintain your composure. But the world around us will always be crazy and a friend is a friend in my book (and all of my friends are crazy anyway). We do what we can to merge ideas and increase our knowledge and love despite the challenges that two such different cultures present. I indeed hope that at least a couple of my friendships last for a very long time….and my Arabic, well, I will publish that book yet on “How to learn Arabic in 20 years or more”…

Some of the letters on the link address an issue that I am obviously very concerned with…women’s rights. I understand that most power dynamics in this world work against women. The Saudi guys are seemingly blissfully unaware of the roadblocks placed in front of even the most liberated Saudi woman. We can go on and on about women not possessing driver’s liscences, etc., etc., however, it is a moot point. The underlying issue is really about the disempowerment of a woman requiring a man to approve her every step. Oh, there are some liberal, kind men, and a woman may be very lucky to have one chosen for her to be betrothed to. I will certainly blog a great deal over time about what I have heard from the men and what I have heard from the women and believe me, they are two different sides (as men and women from anywhere).

Here I am not feigning expertise or righteousness, only stabbing at the inequities that exist. I go about being inquisitive, and occassionally irate, over the cultural differences between the U.S. and such a different culture as Saudi Arabia.

I have friends that are also as deeply immersed in this environment as myself, and I would love for them to add what they think about these issues, as well as what they have learned from others I haven’t talked with. Other people with experience or inquisitive thoughts are free to comment.

I only request that anyone commenting come at this with a basically open mind to learn more about a culture we have little if any exposure to.

I have been thinking about starting a blog. I’m not sure why. It’s a modern phenomena and an interesting one.

I teach English as a second language and as such I am constantly a student of culture. I also want to include some of the fun linguistic occurrences we run into over time.